2x4s at work … or little things can mean a lot A woman came home from work to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, like in a…

2x4s at work … or little things can mean a lot

A woman came home from work to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, like in a dancing frenzy.

She saw a wire running from his waist toward the electric kettle. Her first aid training to the fore, assessing the scene she knew she had to get him away from the deadly current.

She grabbed a piece of 2×4 that was on the cupboard propping open his tool box, and whacked him with it. She broke his arm in two places but freed him. Unfortunately for him not from the kettle, but from his Sony Walkman, which he’d been happily listening to and dancing his heart out.

House builders…

Two men drove into the lumberyard in their pickup. One of the men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” 

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck.

He returned in a minute and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

“Alright. How long do you need them?”

The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”

He returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”

Donkey starter…

A farmer needed a donkey and went to the man who had one for sale. It was a fine donkey and would, among other jobs, keep the coyotes at bay. Other farmers had discovered donkeys were great at protecting their sheep from pesky predators.

But once it was unloaded, he found the donkey would do nothing, not even move.

He called the seller and complained, so over he came.

He immediately grabbed a piece of 2×4 nearby, whacked the donkey on the head, and commanded it to do his bidding.

He did.

“The secret is,” he told the buyer, “you’ve got to get his attention first.”

A 2×4 fishing rod . . .

The most ingenious use of 2x4s surely belongs to a trucker on the Dempster.

On a fine August day, he stopped beside a river to rest and enjoy a coffee while listening to the water riffling over the rocks. His fishing addiction kicked into gear when he saw a grayling dorsal fin break the surface.

No rod with him — what to do? During his musing, his eyes rested on his load, which included some eight-foot 2×4’s holding down the tarp.

Coffee down, 2×4 in hand, he goes over to the river, a large flat rock piled on another as a pivot, one end of the 2×4 into the river, he on the other end ready to pounce . . . some grayling pass over, he  pushes quickly on his end, and a grayling flies into the air and back into the river.

A few surprised grayling flew into the air before he mastered his 2×4 fishing rod technique, and one landed on the shore. Fresh grayling for supper before moving on..

Only in the Yukon you say?

A tip of the hat to the “great big, broad land way up yonder.” A place where we can still have the world to ourselves if we have a mind to.

I hope your Discovery Day celebration of the Yukon was a memorable one. Yes, I’m one those “the” Yukoners.

It’s common English use worldwide, except in the bureaucratic world where politically correct often reigns over what works.