Elvis Presley wants to be MLA for Pelly-Nisutlin.
Most Yukoners will need no introduction to Presley, born Gilbert Nelles, who claims that ever since a UFO struck him with a beam of light in 1986 he has possessed the soul of the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll.
The 55-year-old Ross River resident ran in the 2006 territorial election, losing to Justice Minister Marian Horne. (He placed last, with 40 votes. Horne garnered 241, the NDP’s Gwen Wally got 146 and the Liberals’ Hammond Dick received 145.)
Now that Horne’s out of the picture, after losing her party’s nomination to Stacey Hassard, Presley hopes to take her place.
The NDP is running filmmaker Carol Geddes in the riding. The Liberals have yet to name a candidate.
Presley’s music tends to be apocalyptic. So is his election platform.
If elected, he would work towards building an enormous food cache in preparation for impending floods, droughts and other disasters. Already, his home is stuffed full of cans of corned beef, bags of rice and other preserved foodstuffs.
If the territory ends up avoiding any such calamities, he’d disburse the food to the needy.
Presley laments how his hometown has acquired the nickname “Lost Liver” because of widespread alcoholism. He’d like to see the community cleaned up.
He’d also like to see more RCMP oversight. Presley doesn’t think it’s enough for the Commission for Public Complaints Against the RCMP to set up shop in Whitehorse. So he’d like to see another group watch the watchdog.
He’d like to see First Nations receive a cut of the profits from mines, but this seems like a matter to be negotiated by chiefs and miners, rather than by MLAs.
And he’s upset that, as it stands, First Nations in his home community are buried in one graveyard, while white people are interned in another. He’d like to see a place where he and his “sweetie,” Jessie Peter, could one day be laid to rest together.
Last election, Presley spiked signs in lawns with the slogan, “Don’t be a hound dog. Vote for Elvis Presley.” He became outraged when many of these signs were plucked up and damaged.
This time, he’s trying another approach. “Be a hound dog. Vote for Elvis Presley.”
Contact John Thompson at
johnt@yukon-news.com.