Are you tired of the Whitehorse rat race? Rush minute on the Riverdale bridge? Buying a million-dollar condo downwind of Kentucky Fried Chicken? Incessant tweeting by four levels of government?
I have just the place for you: Yukon Trapping Concession #380. Not only is it in a spectacular bit of the Yukon well away from the stress of the capital city, it’s for sale for just $199,000.
Think about that: a fifth of the price of a downtown Whitehorse condo could get you five acres of deeded land and rights to a 2,271 square kilometre trapline.
If your spouse is a bit hazy on where exactly you’ll both be moving, you can explain that it’s on the shores of the scenic Beaver River about 250 kilometres east of Watson Lake. The trapline stretches up to the NWT border near the Kotaneelee.
Not only does it have no traffic since there are no roads, you’ll also have the opportunity to get your pilot’s license and a Cessna to go with it. The trapline comes with its own airstrip.
Even better, from the airstrip you have to quad for three kilometres and then run your boat upriver eight kilometres to the main line cabin.
You can be confident neither your in-laws nor election candidates will knock unexpectedly on your door.
In addition to getting your pilot’s license, refreshing your Canadian Boat Operator’s License, and honing your quad and snowmobile skills, you’ll also get to learn new things at Yukon trapper education workshops on your way to your Yukon trapper’s license.
Spouse still not convinced? They’ll also get to brag that your trapping concession, if it was its own country, would be bigger than 28 independent states. That includes being four times bigger than Andorra and three times bigger than Bahrain (although with less oil, as far as we know).
Even better, thanks to Elon Musk and Starlink your spouse will be able to continue working from home to earn hard currency to support your trapping business in years when av gas prices are high and fur prices are low (which is to say, every year).
The real estate listing’s photos show a tidy wilderness cabin, some handy outbuildings and a well-maintained airstrip.
There are 80 kilometres of trail, the clearing of which will be a great opportunity for an all-body workout far superior to Pilates. There are also legends of an old cat trail in the northern part of the concession.
The Concession #380 lifestyle is not for everyone. Maybe you prefer your ski trails pre-groomed by someone else. Perhaps small planes or dead furry animals make you squeamish. Or snowmobile engines can sense your fear and refuse to start when you want them to.
There are some financial hurdles. There are reasons why you don’t see television ads during the hockey game from the big banks offering Cessna loans or Trapline Equity Lines of Credit. But perhaps you can pull some equity out of your Whitehorse home or sell a few toys. I’m sure your spouse will be happy to trade in their new SUV for a 2005 Subaru.
You have to admit there are a few risks too. You might crash your plane. Or have your snowmobile break down out on the line at 30 Below. Getting to the hospital if you get appendicitis will not be easy. Most worrying of all, you and your spouse might discover the true meaning of cabin fever.
Against all that is the lure of the wilderness. For most people who pine for something more authentic than a small apartment and office job, it is an amazing opportunity.
If you don’t believe me, watch Happy People: A Year in the Taiga. It’s a documentary about remote Siberian trappers by acclaimed documentary filmmaker Werner Herzog.
Or, if you believe the internet, there are offgrid influencers to watch. Check out Cecilia Blomdahl and her YouTube series from Svalbard. Or Simple Living Alaska by a couple who moved in 2018 from Oregon to Alaska. Their recent episodes include “Butchering a Caribou and Homemade Liver Piroshkis,” “Northern Lights & Canning Pike Chowder” and “Fairbanks Alaska Supply Run.”
So I suggest you check out the listing at McCowans.com. At the bare minimum, you can fantasize. Or maybe it will change your life.
And some Yukoner needs to jump in. We’ll all be sorry if none of us buy #380 and foodies from Toronto buy it and start posting YouTube lifestyle videos where they act like they invented the idea of serving roast grouse with Yukon cranberry sauce.
Keith Halliday is a Yukon economist and the winner of the 2022 Canadian Community Newspaper Award for Outstanding Columnist. His most recent book Moonshadows, a Yukon-noir thriller, is available in Yukon bookstores.