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Odds ‘n’ ends, about odds ‘n’ ends … Never be afraid to try something new; remember, amateurs built the Ark,…

Odds ‘n’ ends, about odds ‘n’ ends …

Never be afraid to try something new; remember, amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic … and, so, in that vein, meet a popcorn-eater who claims he has “popcorn lung.”

His lawsuit — naturally he’s suing somebody — alleges diacetyl, the artificial butter flavouring in microwave popcorn.

To date, popcorn lung has sickened popcorn factory workers because of the vast quantities of the stuff they’re exposed to.

He’s opening the door for the rest of … of popcorn eaters? Anyway do you suppose we’ll have popcorn police coming to our neighbourhood theatre soon?

And will overweight police follow?

There’s one fellow surely to be pardoned if they glom onto him. TV Week told us that “a 440-pound German man survived being run over by a car when his heavy padding of fat protected his internal organs.”

Dare I ask, was it the good fat the gurus are forever telling us will save us, that saved him?

That rumour surely isn’t true, is it, that our keepers will soon have scales installed at restaurant entrances? Weigh right, or you’re outta our sight!

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Did you know …

that the percentage of Africa that is wilderness is 28 per cent; the percentage of North America that is wilderness is 38 per cent?

Did-you-know: “No minister in Canadian history has ever led a trade mission to Norway in January,” said G. Bain in the Globe and Mail, 1982. I know one came to Rendezvous — once. Or am I confusing it all with the Ides of March?

Countless “did-you-knows” come, like government pronouncements on the internet. I think we’re expected to adopt the ‘ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies’ approach, despite the fact many make as much sense as depicted in the Yes, Prime Minister TV series, such as: “The politicians syllogism: Something must be done; this is something; therefore we must do it.”

Governmentese is obviously catching — I’ve rambled so long you’ve likely lost interest. This free, did-you-know advice is a tad early, but the originators assure us it’s a sure thing: “No More Mosquitoes: Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.”

Everybody likes a sure thing, including the older gentleman on the operating table awaiting surgery, which was, at his insistence, to be performed by his son, a renowned surgeon.

Just before the anesthesia, he spoke to his son: “Don’t be nervous son; do your best and remember, if something happens to me, your sister, your mother, the three dogs, and the iguana will come to live with you and your wife ….”

Which brings us to a positive did-you-know: What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

All were invented by women.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re OK, then it’s you.

An oddity — an “encore presentation” another one, but not like the other one.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulacity uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy. It deosn’t mttaer in waht odrer the ltteers in a wrod are. The olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the hmuan mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? (… and did-you-know you have to outfox your spell checker to get this down – it keeps trying to do its job.)

A tip of the hat to volunteers one and all, those who do the job for us all. They put on the Quest, one of the best, and Rendezvous with much fun in the sun — an annual February gift to us from those who put themselves on the line to make it run. Enjoy spring.

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