Mrs. O’Connor …

“So, Mrs. O’Connor,” the lawyer said, “you want a divorce. Tell me about it. Do you hold a grudge?”

The Mrs.: “No, sure now, we only have a carport.”

The lawyer: “Well, does the man beat you up?”

The Mrs.: “No, no, I’m always first out of bed.”

The solicitor tried another tack, asking, “Does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?”

“Sure now,” she replied, “he plays the flute, but I don’t think he knows anything about the connubial.”

Desperation is in the solicitor’s voice, “What I’m trying to find is what grounds you have?”

“Bless you sir, we live in a flat, not even a window box let alone grounds.”

“Mrs. O’Connor, you need a reason the court can consider, what is the reason for you seeking this divorce?”

“Ah, well, now,” said the woman, “Sure. It’s because the man can’t hold an intelligent conversation.”

When you’re dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth remember algebra.

Farewell, Klondike Days …

I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream … well maybe not this summer, but did you know the biggest ice cream sundae in history was made in Edmonton.

That’s the place South of Sixty that stole the Klondike a while ago. Mrs. O’Connor’s story reminded me of those times. I suspected someone like her lived there and served on one of their planning committees, but that was in the heat of “verbal battle.” A battle the Yukon lost. Edmonton’s Klondike Days marched ahead.

‘Tis a good day nonetheless they’re finally over and done with. Gone, finished, moved out, absent, no longer viable, gone astray, missing, vanished, departed, completed, disappeared, gone to the Happy History Memory Grounds at last!

‘Tis indeed a grand day, as Mrs. O’Connor would say.

The opening gambit of the 2006 ad campaign found on the ‘net reveals The EX with these words: “Welcome to the Capital EX Experience: It’s a capital idea whose time has come … welcome to Capital EX, Edmonton’s exhibition with a whole new attitude.”

“Edmonton’s newly renamed, and renovated, exhibition will feature new shows like Ed Fest, Global Connections and Northwest Originals. More new programs will continue to be announced, helping to ensure Capital EX continues to be one of Canada’s largest exhibitions where more than 810,000 guests attend each July.”

The EX happened in July. Darn, I missed it, and I never got to one of their Klondike Days either.

Ah well, it’s better to be playing word games with our history to prove your point, rather than following the world’s prevalent practice of solving historical precedents and arguments over the barrels of guns.

Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that’s held its ground.

A tip of the hat…

To, Jennifer Unlimited, who’s credited with this observation: “I try to take it one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once.”

Yep that’s the kind of day it was alright, and, it seems we all get a crack at them one way or another doesn’t it?

Oh, the Guinness Book of World Records reports the biggest ice cream sundae in the world was made in Alberta, Canada, in 1988. It weighed nearly 55,000 pounds. The same year, a baking company and a sheet-metal firm in Dubuque, Iowa, teamed up to produce the world’s largest ice cream sandwich, which tipped the scales at nearly 2,500 pounds. And, in 1999, Baskin-Robbins created an ice cream cake at a beach hotel in the United Arab Emirates that weighed just under 9,000 pounds.

I imagine that’s about all you want to know about ice cream, and I’ll wager we’re not about to break ice cream consumption records here this summer.

Enjoy what’s left of it.