Bits ‘n Pieces . . . How many F’s are in these lines? … “Finished files are the result of years of scientific…

 Bits ‘n Pieces . . .

How many F’s are in these lines? …

“Finished files are the result

of years of scientific study

combined with the experience of years.”

“When arguing with stones, the egg is always wrong.”

(African proverb.)

Traffic Lights …

A driver who obeyed traffic laws was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.

The light turned yellow, and he stopped, though he could have made it through. The tailgating woman hit the roof, the horn, pounded the steering wheel, and screamed as loud as she could.

As she was still in mid rant there was a tap on her window and she looked up into the face of a very serious looking police officer.

He ordered her to exit the vehicle with her hands up, and he took her to the police station and put her in a holding cell.

Two hours later a policemen opened the cell and escorted her to the booking desk where the arresting office returned her personal effects.

He said, “I‘m sorry for this mistake. You see I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, raving at the man in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I then noticed the “Choose Life” licence plate holder, the “What Would Jesus Do?” bumper sticker, the “Follow Me to Sunday School” bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed you were driving a stolen car.”

Street Talk …

“This is the nicest Main Street in Canada,” Jimmy observed the other day when we were warming in the sun on one of Don’s benches.

Jimmy went on, “and thanks to Don Branigan, when he was mayor. I remember he pushed hard for it, so I give him the credit.

Thanks, Jimmy!

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

Old fashioned four letter words …

A young just-married couple returned from their honeymoon, and as soon as her new husband went to work the bride called her mom.

As soon as the mom asked about the honeymoon her daughter began crying.

“Oh, Mama,” she said, “the honeymoon was wonderful, but as soon as we were home Sam began using the most horrible language — words I’d never heard before, awful four-letter words, I want to come home.”

Mom encouraged Sarah to calm down telling her she had confidence in ability to work it out. As an afterthought she asked, “What four letter words?”

“Please Mama I don’t want to say them, come and get me.”

“Tell me baby, tell me.”

“Mama, he used words like dust, wash, iron, cook…”.

“Sit still, I’ll pick you up in 20 minutes.”

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. Andre Gide (1869-1951)

The Liberal leadership “race”?

“No man is great enough, or wise enough, for any of us to surrender our destiny to. The only way in which anyone can lead us it to restore to us the belief in our own guidance.”

Henry Miller’s words may be prophetic for our times. This Liberal leadership race reminds one of the race of the hare and the tortoise — the frontrunner may be peaking too fast, and well, you know the rest of the story.

Oh, there are others in the race besides our recent visitor aren’t there? Who, and where are they? Media focus is sure evident here, eh?

Not the best example of how to stay objective, and relevant is it?

A tip of the hat to they who still tip their hats.

P.S. There are six f’s in the f count above, and if you counted six you’re a genius, because the originators say hardly anybody gets more than 4. The note with the test claims the brain doesn’t note the letter ‘f’ in of.