New Yukon law
Real Government Acronyms …
OOPS — Occasionless Ordered Preemptive Strike. (World War III begun by accident)
BUFF – Big Ugly Fat Fellow. (USAF slang for a B-52 bomber)
CHAOTIC – Computer Human-Assisted Organizational of a Technical Information Centre
BOGSATT – Bunch of Guys Sitting Around The Table. (Military speak for where important decisions are made. (source – Uncle John’s desktop calendar)
Sounds like government alright, eh? If you begin to feel at home with this stuff you might need a holiday.
Martha & Maxine . . .
It came on the ‘net. Some Martha Stewart advice countered by Maxine’s, with pics, and cartoons of course. Here’s one where pictures aren’t needed.
Martha’s advice: “Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.”
Maxine’s comment: “Leftover wine????? Hello!!!!!”
The new law of the Yukon
This is the new law of the Yukon and Cheechakos have made it plain.
Send me your foolish and feeble, send me your weak and insane.
Weak are the pampered and serviced, insane for the need to reform.
The pioneer people who built me, force them to comply with the norm.
Swift as a panther in triumph the newcomers pounce on their prey!
Helpless the pioneers cower to their misguided and bullying way.
No smoking, no mushing, no fishing, no driving, no fun and no say.
About what is acceptable action or lifestyle or freedom today.
No respect for those who have suffered to build them this home in the North, my doors have been opened to people proclaiming my laws have no worth! These newcomers claim we are evil, mindless and cruel and mean for protecting our claim as a people not ruled by the Southern regime.
No eating of meat, no forestry, no seeking of Klondike gold, the thought police are coming for us to force us to do as we’re told! My heart is broken to pieces as the newcomers squabble and fight. They pave over my golden hist’ry with social correctness and spite.
My Sourdoughs’ struggles have ended as they are now harried and gray, too tired to battle these morons who feel that they know the right way. It is said that we won’t go to meetings, but we are busy attending our works, ‘cause what is the point of opinion when your home is invaded by jerks?
Hugh Conner. (with apologies to Robert Service)
Thank you Hugh! I think R.W.S. would say, “I wish I’d said that!” I sure do!
There is a little immaturity stuck away in the crannies of even the most judicious of us, and we should treasure it. (Robert Ebert, Chicago Sun movie reviewer.)
Roll Call . . .
This roll call came from Uncle John’s daily calendar. Uncle John says these “are the names of real people, taken from England’s National Record office: Charity Chilly — Elizabeth Disco — Gentle Fudge — Talent Ferret — Obedience Ginger — Levi Jeans — Guy Guy — Kitty Jealous — Humfridus Hawkeye — Boadicea Basher — Susan Booze — Edward Evil — Abraham Thunderwolff — Offspring Gurney and Philedelphia Bunnyface.”
Is that one generation saying, “Hey, man don’t take life so seriously?” compared with Mom and Dad sweating over the choice of name, saying, “He or she has to live with it forever so we’d better choose carefully.”
Imagine Philedelphia Bunnyface, trying to get on an airplane heading across a border, any border today. She, or he, will be wishing Mom and Dad, or Grandma and Grandpa, had chosen their name because that cool concert on the other side of the line you’ve never missed in 20 years will be playing “We won’t be seeing you in all the old familiar places.”
A tip of the hat to everybody, including a tip to Martha Stewart. Maxine’s right, but IF there is some wine left, cork the bottle for heaven’s sake! Wine keeps better under a cork than in an ice cube tray.