The big machine

The big machine On the eve of an upcoming election, Yukoners pretend to prepare to make their decision on who will lead this territory for another round. Times are great and the choice is clear Ð you've got to vote grey. It is that party that used to be

On the eve of an upcoming election, Yukoners pretend to prepare to make their decision on who will lead this territory for another round.

Times are great and the choice is clear… you’ve got to vote grey.

It is that party that used to be blue. You know, the conservatives. The guys that brought you the Yukon Environmental and Socio-economic Assessment Board and made all small contractors become CORE Certified while cranking up Workers’ Compensation, Health and Safety Board enforcement.

The guys who hit the federal stimulus lottery and take all the credit for mining development and exploration, as if it has nothing to do with commodity demands. As if it was them who used their savvy political prowess to rocket gold up to $1,500 an ounce.

Yes, the loyal, trustful, hardworking, small-business people from the Yukon Party.

I am a new member, and I, too, like to party.

I know you’d like to believe you’ve got a choice. But if the Liberals or NDP won a majority, Harper would not only take away the gravy, he’d take away the hot oil.

Do you want to eat frozen potato sticks or poutine?

Giving either of these jabronis power is like sending an eight-year-old boy into Canadian Tire with $10,000 and telling him to get everything you need to live in the bush for a year. Yes, you’ll have all the best fishing gear, a cheap quad and some warm clothes, but it will be frustrating building a cabin with composite hockey sticks and sweet automobile decals, knowing chainsaws, drills and hammers were an option.

It is officially time to give up the dream of a fair, free, accountable, organized but not outrageously controlling world for my kids to grow up in.

Time to give up the complaining and criticizing of government employees and let “The Big Machine” (as my good friend Currie Dixon calls it ) roll coal down the highway. (Don’t worry Dixon, you’re still the right man for the job. And, hey, if you don’t win, there’s still the next 60 years and 15 campaigns to look forward to.)

The Big Machine is the very efficient tool our government uses to deal with local problems. It’s simply the concept that they have real issues, on too large a scale, for the public to understand.

And, unfortunately, selling our energy assets and lobbying for federal money use up all the fuel it has.

Issues such as land availability, predator control, big corporate companies taking over construction markets, exercising control of the Looney Tune marathon at city hall, or, my favourite, getting bang for your buck on social housing projects simply interfere with the big picture.

When Ralph Klein finished his reconstructive surgery in Alberta, I don’t recall him starting an Alberta Housing Corporation and mandating it to build social housing in small communities for $420,000 a unit.

And why would the Big Machine care about the hippies in tent city? Look at all the pretty townhouses, condos and trailers selling for $300,000, or more. Winter will take care of those whiners.

Developers are making money and business is great. Great if you’ve got land.

But the Big Machine doesn’t give out land, not even in Teslin, Carmacks, Ross River or Watson Lake. Ask anyone from the rest of Canada if they know what a land lottery is. They look at you like you’re from another planet and say, “Government owns land?” Because in the real world the government gives it to the people for pennies and lets nature take its course.

I imagine this Big Machine as if Dennis Fentie had bought a brand new 2012 Chev 2500 Duramax Diesel, fully loaded, with $20,000 in accessories. Then handed the keys to his 16-year-old-son Darrell Pasloski and said, “Here you go, boy. There’s two strippers and a 26 of tequila in the back seat. Go pick up your buddies, throw them in the box and have some fun, but don’t do anything stupid.”

If you have any brains at all, hop in the back with me and my new friends.

We’ll do doughnuts in the middle of tent city and party till this glorious economic bubble bursts.

Seriously though, vote for the Yukon Party, dummy.

Clayton Thomas


Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

A Copper Ridge resident clears their driveway after a massive over night snowfall in Whitehorse on Nov. 2, 2020. Environment Canada has issued a winter storm warning for the Whitehorse and Haines Junction areas for Jan. 18. (Crystal Schick/Yukon News file)
Winter storm warning for Haines Junction and Whitehorse

Environment Canada says the storm will develop Monday and last until Tuesday

Maria Metzen off the start line of the Yukon Dog Mushers Association’s sled dog race on Jan. 9. (Gabrielle Plonka/Yukon News)
Mushers race in preparation for FirstMate Babe Southwick

The annual race is set for Feb. 12 and 13.

The Yukon government is making changes to the medical travel system, including doubling the per diem and making destinations for medical services more flexible. (Joel Krahn/Yukon News file)
Subsidy for medical travel doubled with more supports coming

The change was recommended in the Putting People First report endorsed by the government

Chloe Sergerie, who was fined $500 under the <em>Civil Emergency Measures Act</em> on Jan. 12, says she made the safest choice available to her when she entered the territory. (Mike Thomas/Yukon News file)
Woman fined $500 under CEMA says she made ‘safest decision’ available

Filling out a declaration at the airport was contrary to self-isolation, says accused

Yukon University has added seven members to its board of governors in recent months. (Crystal Schick/Yukon News file)
New members named to Yukon U’s board of governors

Required number of board members now up to 17

Yukonomist Keith Halliday
Yukonomist: Your Northern regulatory adventure awaits!

“Your Northern adventure awaits!” blared the headline on a recent YESAB assessment… Continue reading

Yukoner Shirley Chua-Tan is taking on the role of vice-chair of the social inclusion working group with the Canadian Academy of Health Sciences’ oversight panel and working groups for the autism assessment. (Submitted)
Canadian Academy of Health Sciences names Yukoner to panel

Shirley Chua-Tan is well-known for a number of roles she plays in… Continue reading

The Fish Lake area viewed from the top of Haeckel Hill on Sept. 11, 2018. The Yukon government and Kwanlin Dün First Nation (KDFN) announced they are in the beginning stages of a local area planning process for the area. (Crystal Schick/Yukon News file)
Local area planning for Fish Lake announced

The Government of Yukon and Kwanlin Dün First Nation (KDFN) announced in… Continue reading

Whitehorse City Hall. (Joel Krahn/Yukon News file)
City hall, briefly

A look at decisions made by Whitehorse city council this week

Fire damage, photographed on Jan. 11, to a downtown apartment building which occurred late in the evening on Jan. 8. Zander Firth, 20, from Inuvik, was charged with the arson and is facing several other charges following his Jan. 12 court appearance. (Gabrielle Plonka/Yukon News)
More charges for arson suspect

The Inuvik man charged in relation to the fire at Ryder Apartments… Continue reading

The grace period for the new Yukon lobbyist registry has come to an end and those who seek to influence politicians will now need to report their efforts to a public database. (Mike Thomas/Yukon News file)
Grace period for new lobbyist registry ends

So far nine lobbyists have registered their activities with politicians in the territory

Most Read