Maybe you’ve had someone missing in your life.
I have. So I got to thinking. I couldn’t do much about it then. Grown man. Two years of no contact.
I imagined the worse. I really couldn’t do anything at the time.
I read the “missing” posters put up around town about Angel Eda Carlick, last seen in Whitehorse on May 27. These are not the first “missing” posters I’ve seen this summer.
I finally realized there was something I could do. I could look closer.
I walk my dog regularly in a certain area. Usually, I’m preoccupied thinking on these jaunts. Now I look closer. And I can ask others to do the same.
Dog walkers, I ask you to start really looking along the trail you might walk or run your dog.
I have designated for myself a certain area. I will look thoroughly at about 20 metres either side of my regular trail.
Within a few days I actually found a suspicious site. It surprised me that I had misgivings about reporting it. I didn’t realize that at Blue Feather they have had over 100 people reporting in who had checked certain areas.
The RCMP immediately responded to the call. It was taken very seriously. They thanked me. They reported back to me that the site was a fire pit with buried garbage.
So we are still missing Angel.
And I realize how I can help.
A better way
I’ve been thinking about sending an article or writing a letter to the paper and it seems like this is a good time, thanks to our local dealer on Wheeler.
I grew up in an alcoholic home but I was so fortunate because my parents both found 12-step programs (Al-Anon & AA) to help them.
I followed the pattern set by my family and found a perfectly nice alcoholic to be my very own.
It took me six years to get to Al-Anon and I’ve never regretted it. It has become a part of my daily life and I have counted on the 12 steps to get me through a multitude of daily challenges for the last 14 years. I’m happy to say that our home is now alcohol free and life is much better than it has ever been.
In recent years, our lives have been touched by drug addiction and it has been painful to watch my family suffer along with the addict.
I suppose there are worse ways for people to kill themselves and destroy their bodies and minds.
It just seems that with addiction everyone who cares about the addict gets dragged into the mess as well. It can be such an unbelievable mess.
In Al-Anon, I learned to detach from my alcoholics and allow them to live out their lives the best way they could. I learned that nothing I did would change them.
However, if I could find some happiness and direction and goals for myself, I might be an inspiration to my daughter and friends and actually have a positive influence on the world even.
Nicely said, but it isn’t easy to let go of someone you love who is doing damaging things to their body, family and career. It can be done but it can also be painful.
So here I am with my Al-Anon principles attempting to deal with the effects of addiction. I knew I couldn’t control or change the addict or the family that suffered so horribly.
All I could do was listen. I felt helpless. I so wanted to give them the tools I had learned through dealing with alcoholism so that maybe they could find some peace.
That is when the addiction became my problem. I obsessed over their plight. I started to lose my own tools and skills because I was so busy focusing on everyone but myself.
I needed to talk about the problem with someone else. That is a way to deal with and relieve the stress of the situation but you can’t just talk to anybody. I could go to my Al-Anon meeting and talk there and be anonymous, but I really wanted to focus on drug addiction.
I went online and pulled up the Nar-Anon website. I found their address and ordered literature.
There’s plenty of really good reading material written by people who live or have lived with the problem.
I got everything I needed to start a Nar-Anon meeting, 12-step recovery for those whose lives have been affected by an addict.
In August last year I put an ad in the paper hoping that someone else would come across it and join me. There have been others.
Some have stayed, some have gone, but every one of them that has come through the doors has given me a gift and thanks to all of you for being there for me.
There are two meetings now. The folks at the Whitehorse Baptist Church on Second Avenue very graciously agreed to let us use their basement on Tuesdays at noon.
And on Thursdays at 7 p.m., we meet at the Crime Prevention Yukon building.
There is a meeting room in the basement that they kindly let us use. There are no dues or fees, we are anonymous. What is said in the rooms stays in the rooms, thank goodness!
If your life has been affected by an addict, maybe you could drop by and check us out. In the interest of anonymity we set up a hotmail account — firstname.lastname@example.org.
There are ads in the classifieds in both of the papers if you need something you can clip out and put in your wallet.
Hope you can make it.
Name withheld by request.