Boy, you bankroll a dog-fighting ring, drown and electrocute a few dogs, and next thing you know you’re millions of dollars in debt.
And I thought cracking my knuckles was a bad habit.
On Monday, former Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who is currently serving a 23-month prison sentence in Leavenworth after being convicted of bankrolling a dog-fighting ring, filed for bankruptcy.
According to the filings, the former football star owes between $10 million and $50 million to creditors.
(Call it a hunch, but I’m thinking little of the debt stems from unpaid veterinarian bills.)
I guess the only reasonable thing to say is, “Good.”
In my eyes, Vick did something completely unforgivable: he wasted lots and lots of money.
The man signed a 10-year $137 million contract just four years ago, and now he likely owes at least twice the amount of any CFL team’s payroll.
Flat-out, that’s money abuse!
And for what? Dog fighting. I mean, I like fights to the death between dumb animals as much as the next heartless bastard, but to put all that innocent money — that never wanted anything but to be spent on luxury items like chrome rims for a Hummer — at risk, is simply ruthless and irresponsible.
Let’s look at another victim here. Who knows how much money the piteous Nike Shoe Corporation might lose after canceling its sponsorship contract with Vick after his dog-fighting related conviction.
Poor, poor Nike — and after they stuck with Vick through thick and thin. They stood by Vick after he was sued by a woman for allegedly giving her genital herpes.
They hung tough when a vehicle he owned was involved in a drug-trafficking case.
The loyal shoe company even stayed with Vick after he flipped off booing fans at the Georgia Dome in 2006.
It really is heartbreaking.
Nike sells $200 sneakers, made by impoverished southeast Asians making less than $3 a day, just trying to make a buck or two and then the Vick incident happens.
Let’s just hope footage of Tiger Woods driving newborn kittens with his five iron doesn’t surface.
However, things could be worse for the former quarterback.
Last year, Vick’s cellmate, Jonathan Lee Riches— who for some reason copyrighted his name — sued Vick for $63 billion.
Among other things, Riches claims that Vick kidnapped two of his dogs and sold them on eBay to raise money to purchase missiles from Iran.
I was shocked when I read this; I had no idea you could sell animals on eBay.
Had the lawsuit not been thrown out — working for 41 cents an hour (average US prison wage), eight hours a day, 365 days a year — Vick would have paid off the debt in about 52.6 million years.
After his 23-month term is served, Vick will face further charges involving the dog-fighting scandal that could result in an additional 10-years in jail.
However, Vick maintains a positive attitude and hopes to rebuild his reputation and fortune with a return to the NFL.
If no team will have him, I suppose he could always start a dog-walking business.
Or play in the CFL.