It is frankly, er ... inconceivable the Whitehorse Food Bank had more than 500 clients last month.
That’s a lot of mouths to feed.
And the number of people using the service is still growing.
In the first few days of December, the food bank’s executive director Stephen Dunbar-Edge saw seven new clients sign up.
In a territory with a $1-billion budget and a small population, hunger is far too prevalent.
So prevalent it has caught the attention of pirates.
Well, one pirate - the Dread Pirate Roberts, of The Princess Bride fame.
The buccaneer is wandering the streets doing good deeds for the homeless, animal shelters and the hungry.
Who is he? Well, we can’t say.
The dread pirate is keeping his identity a secret. He doesn’t want people to think he has an ulterior motive - the goal is simple, to drive hunger from the land.
To that end, he’s challenging citizens to step up with food donations.
There are plenty of people in town who need them.
Last week, at midmorning, Dunbar-Edge sent food bank staff on a grocery run with $500.
Just a couple of hours later, the entire supply of vegetables and margarine was gone.
So the enterprise needs help.
Enter the pirate.
The best thing about the Princess Bride Dread Pirate Roberts schtick is that it is only an idea, a title handed off when the existing pirate got tired or died.
The fact is, we could all be dread pirates if we so wished.
All it takes is a willingness to do a few daring deeds. Like fighting hunger.
The cause is just, and Roberts needs a crew.
Arm yourself at the grocery store.
Deploy at the food bank.
Banish hunger, mateys.
Postscript: We’re about to sign up our 2,000th Facebook fan. That lucky follower will receive a collectable Yukon News coffee mug. As well, to commemorate the event, the paper will make a $500 donation to the Whitehorse Food Bank. So, put the word out ...